Susan got her chance
by Enkelisisar
Summary: What if Susan got a bad depression after losing so many important peoples, but she still doesn't believe in Narnia. What if Aslan gave to her one more chance to come back? Full summary inside. Rated T for safety. WARNING: No happy ending in this story.
1. Chapter 1

_**Susan got a chance**_

**Summary: **Allright, what if Susan fell ill into a really bad depression after she lost so many important peoples in that train accident, but she still doesn't believe in Narnia? And what if Aslan gave to her one more chance to change her ways and join to everybody in his country? What Susan is going to do? Here comes my answer to this questions. _**WARNING:**_ there is no happy ending in this story.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Narnia or any of this characters.

* * *

_**KEY:**_

"**Yelling"**

"Speaking or whispering"

"_Thinking"_

* * *

_**Chapter 1 Funeral ceremony**_

"Oh My God! Poor Pevensie family, they have lost so much in so short time," Susan heard peoples whispering around her when she stepped out from the car with her parents. _"What do you idiots think that you know about our family?"_ she thought in pain.

"Susan, dear are you allright?" she heard her mother Helen's question.

"Yes, I am allright. Don't worry about me mother," Susan answered as she saw Eustaces parents - Harold and Alberta - coming to them.

"Richard*, let me help you," Helen said to her husband and started to push his wheel-chair.

"Thank you Helen, but you don't have to do this darling," Mr. Pevensie said gently to his wife thinking about that what had happened in the war. He had got 6 bullets to his back in the war and he had paralyzed right under his waist. Only two weeks later doctors had told to him that he wont be able to walk ever again.

"I know, but I want to do this," Helen answered kissing her husband to his cheek. She silently thanked God for having her husband back to home. But at very same time she was silently asking that why they had lost three of their four children and their nephew.

"Thank you my love," Mr. Pevensie answered trying to smile to his wife.

They walked to the church in silent. The peoples they saw, were mostly professor Kirke's and Polly's relatives and friends. Of course there were Eustaces parents and some other peoples, who Pevensie's relatives.

When the funeral ceremony began, Susan was crying silently. It had been a huge shock when she had learned that she had lost, not just one - but seven important peoples in that horrible train wreck. Her heart ached when she heard the priest say their names; Peter Pevensie, Edmund Pevensie, Lucy Pevensie, Eustace Clarence Scrubb, Jill Pole, professor Digory Kirke and Polly Plummer. _"Even if I didn't play those stupid games with them anymore, I still loved them with all my heart. Why I had to lose all of them? Oh God, why did you take all of them away from me?"_ Susan thought silently. She still believed that Narnia was only their own imagination or a stupid game and nothing else. Of course she didn't understand how terribly wrong she was with her own thoughts.

"Susan, are you sure you are allright?" Helen asked worriedly to her daughter.

"Yes mother. Don't worry," Susan answered bit coldly.

"Okay, if you say so. But remember that you can always come and talk to me if you feel that you need it," Helen answered quietly.

"Yes mother," Susan muttered.

Mr. Pevensie took his wife's hand to his own and whispered: "Don't worry darling. I will talk to her tomorrow. It looks like she needs little bit time to understand all of this. This is hard to all of us".

"Okay. I trust you Richard," Helen answered tears in her eyes. She just couldn't understand her daughters behaviour.

1 hour and 45 minutes later our dear friends of Narnia were buried and most of the peoples started silently to go back to their homes. Mr. and Mrs. Pevensie were talking with professor Kirke's and Polly's friends while Susan just stood next to her siblings grave stones. "Even if you can't hear me, I miss you guys so much," she whispered as tears blurred her eyes again.

"Susan, my dear child, why do you cry?" Susan heard a quiet, deep voice behind her back. "Who are you?" she asked shockedly as she turned around but only person she saw was her father, who was coming to her. _"Why that voice was so familiar? I know that voice doesn't belong to our father. I just don't understand this situation… not at all! And why I have this terrible feeling that something strange is going to happen to me soon? What is this feeling?"_

End of chapter 1.

To be contiuned…

* * *

* I don't know Mr. Pevensie's real first name, so I decided to call him Richard. I hope you like it.

* * *

**Author's comment:** Many peoples have thought and asked that what happened to Susan after her siblings death and I got an idea which I wanted to tell all of you, so here it begins. This is going to be my first fanfiction about Narnia and I want to know what do you think about this story. Please, R&R!

Greetings from Finland

Take care

Enkelisisar


	2. Chapter 2

KEY:

_**"Ye****lling"**_

_"Thinking"_

"Speaking or whispering"

* * *

_**Chapter 2 Friends of Narnia**_

"_Oh how I wish that Susan could be with us," _Lucy thought as walked to a beautiful lake there in Aslan's country with Jill.

"_Why Lucy is so sad? We are in the Aslan's country with everybody we love, so there's no reason to be so sad,"_ Jill thought watching a terribly sad expression at Lucy's beautiful face.

"**Hey Lucy and Jill, come here! It's almost dinner time," **Peter yelled to them from a hill near to them.

"**We're coming Peter," **girls answered yelling.

Couple of minutes later friends of Narnia were sitting on the hill talking, laughing and eating good food. Only Lucy wasn't so happy, because she missed her older sister Susan dearly.

"Lucy, what's wrong with you?" Eustace asked worriedly to his cousin.

"It's nothing Eustace. I'm fine," Lucy answered smiling to her cousin.

"Then why anybody in here doesn't seem to believe your words?" Eustace asked seriously, but calmly. Everybody nodded in silence.

"I don't know," Lucy answered quietly.

"Lucy, tell us what's wrong with you? You know that we hate it when you are so upset," Peter said hugging his little sister gently.

"**I just miss Susan so much! She should be here too, with all of us!" **Lucy yelled and then she started to cry with heart breaking sad expression against her older brothers hard chest. **"She deserves a one more chance to join all of us!"** she cried. Everybody else started to cry too.

"Oh you Lucy. We all miss her for sure, but we also know that she forgot everything about Narnia, our friends at there and especially, she forgot Aslan and her faith to him. And I don't know if Susan ever changes to her old self after so many years," Peter answered crying and hugging his dear little sister hard and kissing her forehead. _"Oh damn you Susan! If you only knew what you have done to all of us, and especially to our poor Lucy. She hasn't been her usual happy self for a long time. Lucy's pain is your entire fault, you stupid, selfish and ugly slut! You are thousands of times worster than a White Witch ever was to any of us. You just don't deserve forgiveness from any of us,"_ he thought angrily. He just couldn't believe all those changes what had happened to Susan in all those long years.

"Friends of Narnia, why are you crying? This should be time of joy, laugh and love to everyone, my children," Aslan asked to them. Nobody hadn't seen his arrival. They just looked at each others and then Peter told to Aslan everything about that what they had spoke just couple of minutes ago.

"I understand that you miss your older sister dearly Lucy, but there's nothing what I can do before she wants to change her ways," Aslan answered sadly. "But at one point you are right Lucy, she deserves a one more chance, and I'm going to give her that chance," he continued and walked away.

Our friends of Narnia were just sitting at there thinking about that, what Aslan had just told to them and especially, they were trying to quess what was going to happen to Susan.

End of chapter 2.

To be contiuned…


	3. Chapter 3

_**KEY:**_

"**Yelling"**

"Talking or whispering"

"_Thinking"_

* * *

_**Chapter 3 Susan's big shock**_

"_I don't get it, why did they need all of this stuff? And for what? To play those stupid games about Narnia or something? They should have been grown up's and not some kind of stupid children! What were they actually? Some kind of retarded persons?"_ Susan thought angrily as she was packing up all those old clothes and other things from those wardrobes and chest of drawers which had belonged to her late brothers and sister. She had decided together with her parents to give all those things away and make a donation to poor peoples and their families. They would keep just the most important things for a memories. _"I just can't believe that we were siblings… We were living at completelly different worlds and they just didn't understand why I didn't believe in their stupid plays and games about some kind of magical land, talking animals and so on. Those things aren't true at all. They are just completelly stupid imagination from our early childhood! Queen Susan, the Gentle... HA! What a stupid joke it truly was! I just can't believe that I played those retarded games with them when we were kids!"_

"Susan, I'm going to store to buy some food. Do you want anything from there?" Helen asked gently to her daughter as she stepped into the room. She was still deeply worried about her only living child and her health.

"Well, could you please bring me some chocolate? It was so long ago when I last time ate it," Susan asked trying to smile.

"Okay. And you really don't have to pack those things up if it is too hard to you darling," Helen said tears in her eyes.

"It's allright. Besides, I have to do this. I just can't have a peace if I don't do all of this now. Don't worry about me mother," Susan answered taking a new empty box and putting in to it some clothes, which belonged to Peter.

"Fine then. And you father is in the living room, if you need him. I will go now. Bye-bye" Helen answered and left the house.

"Okay, bye-bye mother," Susan said after her mother. _"And then… where I was?" _she thought looking the room around her. _"Oh yeah… this old books" _she thought taking Lucy's old books from her old bed. She accidentaly dropped one of those books to the floor and it opened. "Oh no," Susan moaned as she put those other books to another empty box. As she picked up the book from the floor, she noticed that it actually was Lucy's old diary. And she started to read the pages of the opened book.

"_18.5.1949._

_Dear Diary, this is so terrible. My dear older sister Susan still doesn't believe in Narnia. She still thinks that all those things are just an old, funny game from our early childhood. But it isn't a game! So many peoples know it… Peter, Edmund, professor Digory Kirke and his friend and neighbour Polly Plummer, our cousin Eustace with his friend Jill Pole and of course I, Lucy. All of us know and believe that Narnia and all those peoples and places are true._

_I have begged her to change her mind, but every single word what I say, goes to deaf ears. What I should do?_

_In any way, we got a letter from professor Kirke and he asked all of us to travel to his place and have good time. Of course we are going to talk about Narnia and recall all our memories about those happy times at there. I just don't think that Susan is coming with us to professors house. Everything she is interested in, are: red lipstick, nylon socks, drinking, boys and parties. Why she had to change so much? She is my only sister and I love her dearly, but at very same time, I just don't understand her thoughts. Everybody are so angry at her, especially Peter. It seems like he hates her with passion. Yesterday he said to me and Edmund that having a sex with White Witch would 1500 times funnier than talking with Susan about Narnia. At some way, I understand reason of his anger, but Susan is still our sister. Hopefully Susan changes her mind soon, because we are going to travel to Professor Kirkes house at early tomorrow morning. I will tell you more when we come back to home._

_Good night_

_Lucy"._

Rest of the diaries pages were empty, because Lucy had died the next day in that horrible train wreck.

Susan was truly shocked about that what she had just read from her late younger sisters diary. **"What in the hell is going on here? This can't be true, it just can't be true! Why my siblings, my cousin and my friends would say mean things like that about me? This is so horrible! I hate all of them so much!" **Susan yelled out angrily and bursted into angry and sorrowfull tears. She just couldn't understand what was going on anymore. All those things what had happened at last few weeks, had been a big shock to Susan.

And at first she didn't even notice that someone stepped in to the room where she was yelling and crying out loudly.

"Susan, my dear child, why are crying so much? Please, answer to me, my dear child," a gentle, but powerfull voice asked behind her back. Susan turned around and she almost fainted when she saw who, or what was standing before her own eyes.

End of chapter 3.

To be contiuned… soon…

* * *

**Authors note:** Please read and rewiev. I want to know do you think about this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

_**KEY:**_

"**Yelling"**

"Talking or whispering"

"_Thinking"_

* * *

_**Chapter 4 Susan's final test of faithfulness**_

Susan felt that she was going to faint as she watched a huge lion standing before her at her late younger sisters old room.

"**What and who in the hell you think you are? And how can you speak? You are just a big, stupid lion, nothing else! So, go away from my home," **Susan yelled angrily and shockedly when she finally got her voice back. _"This must be some kind of a stupid dream. It must have started because of this stupid old diary,"_ she thought throwing Lucy's old diary far away from her hands.

"This isn't real, not at all, this is just a stupid dream, and I'm going to wake up in any possible second," Susan whispered to herself as she carefully sat down to Lucy's old bed.

"No, this isn't a dream Susan. This is true, as true as everything else in your world," the Great Lion said with gentle tone voice.

"**What are you talking about? And who are you?" **Susan asked yelling. She didn't understand at all what was going on right now.

"Susan, don't you remember me, my dear child?" the Great Lion asked gently, but sadly.

"**No, why should I remember you? I haven't ever met you in my life, so go away you ugly, horrible beast!" **Susan yelled angrily to him. She still thought that she was just dreaming and she was going to wake up in any possible second.

"My name is Aslan," the Great Lion answered. "I'm the person who called you, and your siblings, cousin and friends to the Narnia. And now it is your time to meet all of them again," he continued and breathed gently to the Susan's pale face.

"Narnia? That was just a truly retarted game from our early childhood, nothing more or nothing less! And you aren't a person, you are an animal, **A BEAST,** nothing else, but you don't seem to understand that clear fact," Susan said and turned around, being ready to back Lucy's old things to four empty boxes. She fainted when she noticed, that she wasn't in the Lucy's room or at home at all anymore.

* * *

"Susan… Susan… please wake up!" Susan heard a familiar voice which was trying to wake her up.

"Uhh… what happened…? And where am I?" Susan asked as she sat up.

"You are in Aslan's country, Susan. He brought you here to meet all of us," she heard familiar voice to answer to her question.

Susan turned to face the person who was talking to her and turned pale when she saw a very familiar girl next to her. "Oh my God… Lucy…" she whispered with shocked tone voice.

"Yes Susan, you are here with us right now," Lucy answered helping her older sister to stand up. "How are you feeling?" she asked worriedly. Lucy had her cordial with her just in case that Susan started to feel sick again.

"I'm feeling allright… but this place or you guys just can't be realistic. You are dead and buried and this is just a most stupid dream in the world," Susan said making her thoughts very clear to everybody around her.

"**Susan, all of this is realistic! You have just simply forgotten everything about Narnia and our dear, faithful friends at here and especially, you have forgotten Aslan! You are nothing, but a selfish, stupid and ugly slut who doesn't have any sympathy for anyone, not even for her own family and friends! You don't deserve forgiveness or sympathy from any of us," **Peter yelled angrily and hit Susan to her left cheek with his fist. He felt that he just simply couldn't keep all of this hard feelings and thoughts inside of his heart after so many long and painfull years. He had done it for way too long time, and now he had lost it completelly, and for sure. Everybody around him were shocked, but at very same time, they understood perfectly Peter's untold feelings. All of them were holding very same kind of feelings inside of their hearts.

"Peter, I understand your anger, but you aren't helping her at all to recognize the truth with your behaviour," Edmund said to his brother trying to make him calm down a little bit.

"**How dare you hit me to my face? My brother wouldn't never, ever hit me like that! The truth is that this is just a very stupid dream, nothing more and nothing less!" **Susan yelled angrily to Peter holding her bruised cheek and trying to hold back her own tears. She still couldn't understand what was happening to her or where she exactly was right now. **"I just have to wake up from this stupid dream, right now! I must go back to home right away! I just have to!"**

"As you wish Susan. I'm so sorry that you didn't want take your last chance to be with us again and be happy, my dear child," Aslan whispered breathing gently to Susan's face with a broken expression on his face.

The very last thing Susan heard was Peter's and Lucy's sad words: "Please don't cry Lucy. Susan got her final, very last chance, but she just didn't want to take it, because she didn't want to believe to Narnia anymore. In her mind it was and still is just a stupid game, even if all of it is true".

"Oh Susan, why didn't you take your last chance to be together with us again? We all love and miss you so much, Susan!" Lucy cried. Her heart was broken in million tiny pieces - completelly and for sure because of her dear older sister.

* * *

Five minutes later Susan woke up at Lucy's old room and only two minutes later she sneaked quietly to the kitchen, making sure that her father couldn't be able to see or hear her. She took a knife and sneaked quietly to her own room. At there she took a pencil, and piece of a paper and wrote a short note to her parents before she...

* * *

End of chapter 4.

To be contiuned…


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5 The terrible ending of life**_

**"Richard and Susan, I'm home,"** Helen yelled as she stepped in to the kitchen with two paper backs full of food.

"Hey darling, do you need any help?" Richard asked to his wife as he came to the kitchen too.

"No, I don't need any help. But thank you any honey. By the way, have you seen Susan?" Helen asked hugging her husband gently.

"No I haven't seen for nearly two hours," Richard answered watching his golden pocket watch.

"Hopefully she is allright," Helen said starting to worry for Susan.

"Let's go to check her," Richard answered trying not to worry, but having an uneasy feeling in his heart.

"**Susan! Susan! Where are you? Answer to me darling!" **Helen yelled running to Lucy's old room at first. But Susan wasn't at there.

"Maybe she is in the Peter's and Edmund's old room? Or she might be in the her own room?" Richard asked as calmly as he could, but for some reason, he started to worry for Susan too, and Helen could see it from his eyes.

"Please, check the boys old room honey. I will check the Susan's own room," Helen said running to Susan's room.

"Allright," Richard answered and went to the boys old room. But Susan wasn't at there at all. _"She must be in her own bedroom,"_ Richard thought quietly. Only 15 seconds later he heard his wife's terrified scream from Susan's bedroom. He went to his daughters bedroom as quickly as he could with his wheel-chair, fearing the worst. "Helen? What is it?" Richard asked quietly, holding his breath in fear.

"Look," Helen whispered crying pointing Susan's bed with her finger. At there, Susan was lying a knife in her chest and a huge lake of blood was covering all of her clothes and part of her pillow and coverlet. She was hardly breathing and she was holding the piece of a paper and the pen on her left hand.

Richard turned as pale as ghost as he watched his beautiful daughter and her lifeless body on her bed. "A suicide… but why? She didn't have any reason to do something like that, so why?" he asked with shocked tone voice.

"I think that losing so many important peoples in that train accident, was too much to her, but we need to call to the polices, and an ambulance," Helen answered and ran to their phone.

"Oh please Susan, don't die my dear child," Richard whispered praying that she was going to survive from this.

* * *

"Mr. and Mrs. Pevensie, we are so sorry, but your daughter is dead. We just couldn't do anything for her, because she had been bleeding for way too long," the head doctor said apologetically. "But, we found this short message from her hand. I didn't read it, but I think she left it for you," he continued giving the piece of paper to Helen and Richard as his colleagues put Susan's body to a stretcher and carried her away. "Once again, we are so sorry for your lost, Mr. and Mrs. Pevensie," the doctor said before he walked away.

Helen and Richard were just watching after him completelly shocked. They had lost their fourth child.

* * *

"Should we read this message?" Richard asked carefully to his wife.

"Yes, it might helps us understand why she did that what she did," Helen answered quietly. "Could you please read it to me?" she asked pleading.

"Allright," Richard nodded and started to read the message.

"_Dear mother and father_

_When you are reading this note, I'm allready gone. Living with this unbearable pain and having the most horrible nightmares in the world about my so-called, late siblings, cousin and friends, were way too much to me. I didn't see any other way to get away from those things and get a peace._

_I hope that two of you have lots of good days in rest of your life._

_Please, try to understand my decision._

_Good luck, and good bye._

_Your daughter_

_Susan Pevensie"._

"Oh my God! Why didn't she talk to us? And why didn't I notice her deep pain? Oh God, please tell me why?" Helen yelled before she bursted into most sorrowful tears in the whole world.

Richard just hugged his wife not knowing what to say or do for her. _"Oh God, please help us with this huge sorrow. Especially, help my wife! I just don't know what to do anymore. Please help us. Amen,"_ he prayed in silent.

But also he or Helen didn't know, that they were going to meet three of their children, their nephew and their friends at Aslan's country on some beautiful day.

End of chapter 5.

The end.

* * *

**Authors note:** Yes, this was the last chapter of this story. Please, send to me a comment and tell me what do you think about this story, because this was my very first fanfiction about Chronicles of Narnia ever. Flames are welcomed too. I want to know what was good, and what was bad in this story, because that helps me to write better fanfictions in the future.

Thank you for reading this story and peoples who has allready sent to me some comments. :-)

And I really have to say, that especially Chronicles of Narnia are ones my favourite books in whole world! I just love those books. And those movies!

Greetings from Finland

Take care

Enkelisisar

Prev1. Chapter 12. Chapter 23. Chapter 34. Chapter 45. Chapter 5

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.


End file.
